So this Twilight thing...

My all time favourite books of all time are the Tomorrow Series.

Tomorrow when the war began became a movie last year. I was there on opening night, with pre bought tickets.

I worked at the cinemas when the first harry potter came out - I laughed at people like me. Fair enough I didn't have a cape on and a weird stick in my hand, but still I was probably just as keen hidden under all my coolness.

Then the Twilight thing happened. I would have read the books, but seriously - they are of biblical proportion. The word Biblical in the dictionary should read - the size of a Twilight Book.

So we rented the first 3 movies and sat down to watch the first 2.

First things first - not Bella's biggest fan, she is a little bit of a whinger and quite frankly borders on an emo. Powdery white, doesn't smile, shuffles her feet and averts peoples gaze. At first I thought she was a vampire.

Then I met Edward. Do you people really camp outside his house? Sorry, but when did weird pink mouths, skinny arms and massive foreheads becomes hot? So he's the vampire - makes a little more sense.

Then we go through a whole teenage love story which in NO WAY depict real teenage love.

1. He saves her life. If I guy liked me in high school, I would be lucky if he pulled a bee sting out. He certainly wouldn't hold a car back in order to save me.
2. If you didn't mope around the school  staring at your feet you would have been quick enough to move away from the car.
3. Where is the texting? Facebooking? and in my day ICQ-ing.

So then we have the wolf man with a SHOCKING wig. At least in the first film. Obviously they had made a little money and we able to cough up for a better one  in the sequel.

So who does Bella love, Edward or Jakob?

Lets run a quick list

1. Edward may try to eat her at any given moment, not to mention if she gets paper cut.
2. Edward will watch her get all old and  saggy while he stays all Emo.
3. Jakob is in with the parents
4. Jakob is hotter.

Fair enough, Jakob might try and eat her if she forgets to fill his water bowl. But seriously, is there a competition here?

The only thing that annoys me the most about this, is that all these Teenagers are going to to be brainwashed into thinking these are the only choices for a boyfriend?

How about the normal guys. That guy from school, who really likes her and makes jokes. Maybe the thrill won't be as good, but I'll tell you now. I would rather that than give birth to either weird vampire adults or hairy wolf babies.

Then again - I married a Greek man - I am fairly used to hair.

TEAM JAKOB!